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For the past two years, I have been working with the Commission on Christian Unity and
Interreligious Concerns' Task Force on Homosexuality and the Unity of the United Methodist
Church to develop dialogue across the denomination.
In the process, we have heard from a number of people with divergent and sometimes
contending views about homosexuality. Sometimes the conversation has focused on whether we
should have dialogue at all.
Advocates for giving up further dialogue about homosexuality do not fit neatly into one
theological or convictional camp.
Some, who passionately support the current position of the church's Book of Discipline,
argue that the General Conference has spoken clearly during the last eight quadrennia, a
period spanning more than 30 years. They assert that further discussion only serves to stir
up discord about a matter the church has resolved. Now is the time to live out the stance
of the Book of Discipline.
Others, who ardently are working to convince United Methodists that the Book of Discipline
must change, believe that further dialogue only diverts attention from needed actions for
advocacy, and that it demeans gay and lesbian people and delays their full inclusion.
Still others express concern that the continuing conversation about homosexuality draws
scarce resources and energy away from the true mission of the church. There are people on
all sides of the issue who are convinced that dialogue is a clever political ploy designed
to buy time for "the other side" to get its way.
So a key question is, "Why dialogue"?
First, we need to stay in dialogue because living according to the truth and seeking
unity are both biblical mandates for the church.
Some Christians seem to think that a biblical call to fidelity to the truth is all
that matters. Others act as if the Bible's call for unity in the church means unity at
any price. But Paul seems to find no dichotomy between the two as he calls the Christians
at Ephesus to a unity grounded in the truth of Christ. He writes, "You were all called
to travel on the same road in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and
inwardly. You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules
over all, works through all and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do
is permeated with Oneness … God wants us to grow up and know the whole truth and tell
it in love — like Christ in everything." (Ephesians 4:4-5; 15, The Message)
In The Conversation Matters, Henry Knight and Don Saliers point out that none of
us can fully mature in Jesus Christ by ourselves. We can grow up into Christ only in
conversation with other Christians who listen to us, pray for us, challenge and correct us,
and most of all love us.
This maturing kind of conversation is what true dialogue is about. Dialogue is not about
just setting aside our differences so we can all get along, or equivocating about our
convictions. I, for one, am not interested in conversations that merely set aside important
distinctions in the name of peace and unity. Dialogue holds in tension two biblical calls:
fidelity to the truth in Christ and pursuit of unity in the church.
In dialogue, we explore what we believe, how we have come to those understandings, and
why we hold the firm convictions we do. This kind of conversation, even with those whose
convictions we may find offensive, helps us to clarify our own understandings and challenges
us to discover how we can express and live out the teaching of Christ more fully.
Second, we need to stay in dialogue because our Christian character is defined not just
by our understanding of the truth but also by our relationships with others — even those
whose convictions may be deeply at odds with our own.
Simply labeling others as "homophobic" or "fundamentalist," or
treating others who claim Christ's name with scorn, falls short of the grace with which
God treats us. Basic Christian courtesy demands more. Dialogue helps us to know others
more fully — and not just from their positions on one or a few controversial issues.
In a similar way, dialogue helps us stay in relationship with one another across the
church because it provides settings to explore controversial issues without the pressure
of having to decide. Legislative sessions at General Conference and annual conferences
are settings in which decisions must — and will — be made. By their nature, legislative
processes invite us to choose and contend for our positions in an effort to persuade
others and win a majority vote. If we talk about difficult issues only at moments when we
are required to make decisions, wedges of anger and separation are more easily driven into
the church.
After the Council of Bishops' dialogue session on homosexuality and the unity of the
church in early May, many bishops expressed appreciation for the civil and helpful tone of
the conversation. Several commented that the members of the full council had never before
had an opportunity to talk among themselves except in the heat of decision-making.
Dialogue cannot and should not replace needed decision-making structures and opportunities
in the church. But dialogue can supplement our times of decision-making and allow us to
develop more open relationships and deeper understanding of those with whom we will again
and again come to the table of decision.
In the process, we may even find common ground and uncommon community where we at first
were certain none was possible.
Some people seem to hold enormous expectations for dialogue, even hoping it will bring
us to agreement at last and save the United Methodist Church from further division over
homosexuality. I have less grandiose expectations. I view dialogue as one helpful process
along the way.
If through dialogue we can lift up truth and give honor even to those with whom we
deeply disagree; if we can allow God's grace in Jesus Christ to manifest itself in ongoing
ways in our relationships with all; if we can keep sprinkling the debate and conversation
with grace and civility; and if the church is helped to demonstrate the character of Christ
in the midst of controversy, then dialogue will have served its purpose.
In the last analysis, we dialogue because God's Spirit baptized us into the one Body of
Christ together. When controversy threatens the unity of Christ's body, or the ability of
the church to give witness to the truth in Christ, the time has come for more talk, not less,
with God and one another.
*Stover is Cincinnati district superintendent and a member of the United Methodist
Commission on Christian Unity and Interreligious Concerns. This commentary originally
appeared in the West Ohio News, the newspaper of the denomination's West Ohio Annual
Conference. This article was taken from the UM News Service
website and used with permission.
Commentaries provided by United Methodist News Service do not necessarily represent the
opinions or policies of UMNS or The United Methodist Church.
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